Wednesday, December 9, 2009

When Doubts Arise...



I remember back a few years ago when we first decided to homeschool. Ashlyn was in preschool and we went back and forth on what to do for her upcoming kindergarten year. I remember Jason and I spending lots of time talking, thinking and praying about how we should approach our children's education. We then decided that we felt led in the area of homeschooling.

It's been a great journey so far! However, it's also been a journey laden with questions, doubt, and trial and error. Sometimes I find myself asking such questions as "Am I ruining my children?" or "Do my kids have too much of me?" I sometimes grow fearful that I am holding them back or that I am depriving them of things that they need. There are days when I feel overwhelmed, trying to meets the needs of my very needy small children, while at the same time trying to make sure Ashlyn is getting in all the learning she needs too. It is during these times that I seem to forget the benefits of homeschooling and all the reasons we chose to do it in the first place.

But even though I know that those thoughts are from the enemy, I still have them, and it seems like sometimes it can be a battle. Jason and I both are secure in our decision to educate our kids at home, and when doubts arise, there is usually only one thing that helps me overcome them. Well, maybe two things.

One is the encouragement I get from other moms who are in the same boat as me. I am so appreciative of people at church or at co-op who encourage me and let me know that they've been (or they are) where I am. That kind of support is invaluable to me!!!

The other thing (and probably the greatest thing) is prayer, and claiming the promises that God gives pertaining to wisdom. I pray all the time that God would turn the hearts of my children toward Him, and that He would work in their lives even when I mess up. I pray all the time for wisdom, whether it be for disciplinary issues or simply how to manage it all. Proverbs 8:17 says of wisdom, "I love those who love me; And those who diligently seek me will find me." I have to believe that! And then in James, God promises that "if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him." Sometimes those are the words that get me through the day!

I love being with my kids, and I'm thankful that our family has been led in the direction of homeschooling. I just sometimes wish that I could see the big picture so that I can know for sure that things will turn out right. But, then, I guess if I could do that, I wouldn't need faith, right? My faith is what reminds me that He sees the big picture, and when doubts arise, trusting in His wisdom to lead me is the one thing that I can count on for certain.

3 comments :

Anonymous said...

Rest assured, you are doing a wonderful job! I don't see how you do what you do. I'm sure it is because of prayers being prayed for you and your dedication to what you do that make you successful! You are in my prayers! I love you

mom said...

sorry, I hit submit before i was finished adding my name...anyway it is from me! hee hee

Anonymous said...

You are your child's best teacher! You do an amazing job and your children are thriving in their environment. When they are grown and look back, they will see the love in the sacrifices you and Jason have made to put your family first, no second, in all you do. I am so proud of your decision to home school. I commit to praying for you on a more regular basis. I love you all!! Aunt Wina