The Face of Love

Lately, feeding Evan has been...sweet.

Not that it hasn't always been sweet. As a nursing mom, and especially knowing that this (barring a miracle) is my last child, I have a particular fondness for Evan's mealtimes. But the little guy is stealing my heart even more these days.

He seems to be having trouble focusing on his need for nourishment.
Instead, he wants to focus on my face.

It takes me twice as long to nurse, because I can't deny myself--I spend as much time gazing back as he seems to desire.

Yeah, I know that all babies love faces. But still, he's studying me. He's getting to know me. I like to think that he's telling me he loves me.

There's something about looking directly into someone's eyes, isn't there? There's an intimacy, a manifestation of the desire to really know someone.

It reminds me of my need to constantly seek Someone's face. Someone who loves me with a love even greater than mine for my children (though hard to imagine). Someone who will give me all the nourishment I need to live in this love-starved world. Someone whom I desperately long to know better.

"Your face, O Lord, I shall seek."
Psalm 27:8

Blessings

As I sit here and write this morning, I am holding a precious child in my arms. He is growing so quickly, and when I gaze at him, I wonder, "What will he look like when he is bigger? What sorts of things will he like to do? What kind of personality will he have?" I look upon him and I say a silent "thank you" to God for yet another blessing that has been bestowed upon our family.

BLESSING. Do I deserve it? No. Have I earned it? Absolutely not. If God were not so gracious and if He gave me what I deserved, I would have no salvation, let alone all of the other good things in life I have. Even in the midst of any adversity I might face, He graciously gives me strength.

Sometimes we look at things a little backwards, thinking that life is supposed to be filled with great things and that when we come upon hard times, then "it's not fair". I have thought it many times! We have this sense of entitlement, where we think (perhaps even on a sub-conscious level) that we deserve only good. But one thing that encourages me when I do face difficult circumstances is knowing that it is only because of God and His goodness that I am blessed.

I believe in the complete sovereignty of God the Father. However, I also believe that we are not puppets and that He gives us choices. I don't have to "understand" Him to love and trust Him, any more than I have to understand exactly how this writing reaches your computer from mine. Not understanding doesn't keep me from using the internet and writing this blog!

In Isaiah 1:19-20, a choice is offered. It reads, "If you consent and obey, you will eat the best of the land. But if you refuse and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword." The Israelites were offered that choice in Deuteronomy 28 too, and God even gave specific blessings and curses that would be received, depending on the choice that was made. For us, salvation is obviously the most important "choice" we can make. But then, after salvation, we still live our lives and must daily decide whether or not we will live out the teachings of Jesus or whether we will be stubborn and live according to our "rights" (Luke 9:23).

Each day, we are faced with making choices of blessing or cursing. To follow Christ (forgiving, showing compassion) leads to blessing. To deny His teachings and follow what "feels right" as humans (harboring anger, refusing to forgive), leads to a life of sorrow and regret. Are there hardships in the "blessed" life? Absolutely. But there is blessing and growth, even in the pain, therefore, the blessed life will even consider adversity rewarding (James 1:2-4). On the other hand, when we (as Christians) choose to walk in our own way, we will only grow in our stubbornness and pride, which brings misery to ourselves and shame to our walk with Christ.

God desires to bless us. He rewards the faithful and brings much life and light to those who are wholly devoted to Him!

Messes

Tonight my kitchen floor is really dirty. Like, it's really crummy (as in it is covered in crumbs). It doesn't matter how often I clean it, it seems that there are always crumbs lying around (that's what I get for having darker hardwood that shows everything). All day today I knew that my floor needed cleaning, but I just haven't had time!

Tonight, Jake reached for his cup of milk on the counter--forgetting, apparently, that he had asked for it to be in a cup that was not a sippy cup--and spilled it all over my already filthy kitchen floor! He thought he was in big trouble, but we don't cry over spilled milk, right? I resisted the urge to scold him (since it was merely an accident) and started cleaning it up. He eagerly grabbed a towel and offered to help, so we cleaned the mess together!

When we were finally finished, I realized that my floor was way cleaner now than it had been before--at least in that area!!

Allow me to paraphrase. My floor was already a mess, but not messy enough for me to take the time to clean it. Then a major spill happened, which forced me to clean it thoroughly. In the end, the floor was clean, crumbs and all. The spilled milk served a purpose, didn't it?

This is my blog, and I can post whatever I want, right? But all I will say is this: to a certain group of people reading this (you know who you are), let's remember this analogy. Sometimes a bad situation, although discouraging (to put it very mildly), can open our eyes, and then in the end, we find ourselves in a place that is more beautiful than ever before.

She Cracks Me Up

My kids make me laugh.

Here was the dialogue from the other night:

Me: Emily, what would you like on your burger?

Emily: Um, that round thing....

Me: A tomato?

Emily: No! It's round....it's like ham or something?

Me: Hmmm...an onion?

Emily: (getting increasingly frustrated) No! It's like...it's round!! I have one upstairs [in her play food box]. I'll go get it.

She comes back downstairs with a play pancake.

Well, I couldn't find it, but it looks like this [she is circling the pancake with her finger]. It's ROUND like this. But it's like....it's like deer meat or something.

I pick up a burger to place it on the bread (we were having frisco melts).

Emily: That!!! That's what I want on my burger...that brown round thing you're picking up!

Problem solved. Emily wanted a burger on her burger. Good one Em!

Snow Days!

Happy Snow everyone!!! We are loving the snow. The kids went sledding the other day in whopping 14 degree weather. It doesn't even phase them, it seems. Just give 'em a hill and sled and they forget about the temperature. I love it!

This past Friday, we made bird feeders with pine cones. We spread peanut butter on the pine cones (which were huge ones that I got from my brother when he lived in Georgia), then we sprinkled them with as much bird seed as we could.

We took them outside and replaced our regular bird feeders with these. I wasn't sure if the birds would like them, but as you will see in the photos below, they are a hit!! Ashlyn told me about the idea after she saw it on the Disney Channel (three special steps...anybody with me here?) :)

Do you like Jake's new snowsuit? I found this on sale and decided to get it. The first thing he said when I put it on him was "I don't have to wear pink!" (For a refresher on why he said this, click here.)


Check out the Tufted Titmouse enjoying our birdfeeder! It's almost time for a refill!

Her Thankful Heart

This is what Ashlyn said during her prayer last night:

"Lord, thank you for putting me in a mommy's belly who loves Jesus."

That just really touched my heart.

My Brown Eyed Boy

This little guy turns 3 tomorrow.

After having two girls, and not knowing what #3 would be, I went into the hospital thinking that it really didn't matter to me. I remember thinking that I would really be just as happy if it was another girl. HOWEVER, when I was in surgery, and my doctor exclaimed the words, "It's a boy!" I realized how much I must have really wanted a boy down deep. I was so happy!! I remember crying as soon as I heard those words!
When I get out the vacuum cleaner, I usually have to fight Jake for it. He loves to "bacern clean"!! Don't worry, I always take advantage of his eagerness to help. He like to suck up dirt with the hose, which always needs to be done somewhere in the house!
We decided to have his "Monster Jam" party a little early so that his cousins from Texas could come!
Jake loves to be outside. He will walk to Mimi and Poppy's in the dark. He will stay outside and play by himself for as long as I will let him, no matter the weather. I have to be careful, because he likes to roam around (like go to Mom and Dad's without telling me, or down to the woods). He has scared me more than once!!!
Jake got this chainsaw for Christmas because Jason got one, and he loves to imitate his daddy! Oh, how we love our little Jake! He can be the sweetest kid most of the time, using manners and telling me he loves me at random times. He can also be quite mischievous (that is a huge understatement). But he is so sweet with baby Evan and loves to imitate his sisters. I love the way he loves to make people laugh and the way he says, "That's spatastic!" (fantastic). For sure, raising this boy is way different than my experience with my girls, but I love it!

Happy Birthday Jake!!!!

Honor

I love Christmas! Even though it is technically over, the season is still in full swing for me. I usually wait until we are a few days into the new year before I start taking down my decorations. We are having a great time with all of the family being together this week. The cousins are having a blast together!

On Christmas Day, get together with both my mom and dad's side of the family. This year, on my mom's side, was the first time we had celebrated Christmas without my Mamaw.

This family has been through quite a bit over the passed two years. My Uncle Clint suffered a stroke in January 2008, and then finished the race in November of the same year. In early 2009, my Mamaw started getting worse as a result of lung cancer and COPD, and finished her race in June. But it's the in between times that have impacted me as well.

In the Bible, when we read about God's command to honor our parents, many times we automatically think first about children being obedient, but it goes way beyond that, doesn't it? My mom, aunts and uncles (pictured above, minus one) have been wonderful examples of what it means to honor their parents. I watched as my mother and her siblings spent countless hours tending to Mamaw. Feeding her, giving her medicine, rubbing her feet, reading to her, loving on her........honoring her. They were with her when she drew her final breath, and they continue to honor her and my Papaw today by the way they communicate, get along and show great love for one another.

I say this because as a mother, one of my prayers is that my children will always have love for one another, even after I'm gone. I have heard of families who divide over inheritance and other such issues after the parents have passed away. To me, continuing to love and respect each other, even after both parents are gone is a wonderful way of showing honor to them.

So, thank you to my mom and dad, and my aunts and uncles for providing this wonderful example of love and honor. I pray this kind of blessing over my family as well, believing that God will honor that.

Christmas Week at the Liddles

Merry Christmas!!!

We had a good week here at the Liddle home, starting with the "big snow" we had last weekend! It may have only been a few inches, but it was at least big enough to go sledding and also to make a huge snowman! Jacob and Emily also helped, even though they aren't pictured. Sadly, this snowman didn't last long. He fell forward that night and Ashlyn discovered that his nose had come out the back of his head. :(

On Christmas Eve, we made red velvet cupcakes and I let the kids put icing and sprinkles on them. They each had their own pan of cupcakes and their own portion of icing. Jacob took advantage of this, because most every time I looked over to see how things were going, I caught him sneaking and eating the icing. I let him get by with it most of the time--it's Christmas, right?

Emily's Christmas wish came true this morning when she opened up "Josephina", the American Girl doll that she has talked about for months. So, today at our family dinner, I happened to see her, along with Ashlyn, trying to teach Josephina to walk. I was glad that I had my camera in hand! In the picture, Emily is saying, "Come on, you can do it!!" And Ashlyn walked her over to Emily and then they both hugged her and cheered. HA!

Probably the greatest highlight for me this week was that this was little Evan's first Christmas. Even though he had no clue about the gifts or stockings or turkey or candy, it's always so special having a new one around on Christmas. It's a wonderful reminder of God's gift of life and the miracle of salvation through the birth of a baby many years ago.

So, another Christmas Day has come and (almost) gone, and it was a great one. As I think back on the day's (and the week's) events, and look forward to this coming week when we will celebrate with Jason's family and my brother and sister and their families, I thank God for all the blessings in my life, especially the blessing of His Son, who came to earth so long ago, to save a wretch like me. Thank You Lord!!!

I Stand Corrected....

This is regarding my previous post where I wrote about Ashlyn's journal entry on the real meaning of Christmas.

Today she made sure that I knew that the two people--the "mourners" as I called them--were not just any two people. They were Mary and Joseph. She pointed out (and I could see it as I looked closely) that she had drawn tears in their eyes.

Mary and Joseph with the baby Jesus in one drawing. Mary and Joseph watching their baby die for all of mankind in the next. All of the meaning that is encompassed in that when you really stop to think about it gave me chills, and I could not help but share it.