The Real Peace of Mind

Okay, so this was a picture of me yesterday morning, before we headed to the hospital.

I was really dreading the amniocentesis, but as it turned out, it was no big deal! It really felt no different than when I've had my blood drawn. I did have some pain afterward, but that has since subsided.

We had to wait four hours for the results of the fetal lung maturity test...it seemed like an eternity! And then, when it came back that the lungs were too immature for delivery, my initial disappointment was almost overwhelming. However, it didn't take me long to get over it and be thankful that our baby appears to be healthy and is scheduled for delivery Monday at noon.

Something the Lord has shown me through this, though, is how much I need Him and how little I trust Him sometimes. The night before last, I worried a lot. My thoughts were nearly out of control. Fears about the amnio, the surgery, the safety of my other three children, the baby's health....I could go on. I know. It sounds ridiculous. I was subjecting myself to a sort of mental torture, brought on by entertaining (instead of dismissing) thoughts of fear and anxiety. It nearly paralyzed me.

Isn't it amazing how easily we trust our own fears instead of the One who promises to cast them out with His love?

It reminds me of Peter, walking toward Jesus on the water, when all of a sudden he realized that he was....walking on the water! It's easy to encourage others and give advice, but when it comes to living it out, it is a difficult task. I found myself praying Philippians 4:6-7 about every 15 minutes. I quoted it in my last post, but I love the translation of verse 7 in my daughter's Bible. It says, "And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Peace which surpasses every thought....will guard my mind.

Oh, how I need His peace to guard my mind! I can't explain to you how much this Scripture has ministered to me over the last few days. I see my constant need to give everything to Him, including (and sometimes especially) my mind. Worry is so horrible, because while He promises strength during trials, He simply commands us not to worry. But even when my faith lacks so much, my loving God is willing to give me peace. He is willing, in spite of my weakness, to calm my spirit and remind me of His perfect love, which really does cast out fear.